If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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