Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I love you.
Bad choice
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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