I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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