the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
