Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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