she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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