Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
