I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
