is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize