Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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