she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
