he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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