Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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