i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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