how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
