Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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