WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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