I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
