You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he thought i was a dude.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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