just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
