East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
