i permit you to call me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I just shit out all my problems.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
