Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We left the knife in your bed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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