Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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