What a fucking waste of an outfit
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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