She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Fuck appropriateness.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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