I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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