Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
