is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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