And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
