Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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