she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
