Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
