I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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