youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
