I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
