Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All I want is dick and wine.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
