i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
