i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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