I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You're breaking my sexual little heart
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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