i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.