If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends