Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch