drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.