listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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