so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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