all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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