meet me or not, i'm out of control
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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