I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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