what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
