"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
