What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
