We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
