i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
