i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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