I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
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So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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