Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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