things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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