his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
